I sat alone Christmas Eve after the kids were in bed, while Brandon was working at the fire station. The tears started flowing. It hit me like a ton of bricks that next year this was all going to look completely different. They were tears that I had to let go. I’ve been holding them in for awhile. Not letting myself go there emotionally. Don’t get me wrong. I cry about everything, but I haven’t let my mind truly go deep about the whole moving away from family in awhile. Holidays kinda drags it out of you, I suppose.
I’ve been focusing on being busy with thoughts like “OMG I have a lot of junk to get rid of in this house” and “If your dirty laundry basket is overflowing, then how in the world are your drawers still filled?” I think we are secretly on the show Hoarders. I mean we have a TON of stuff. The majority of which makes no sense. Random Happy Meal toys (sorry healthy parents 5 days out of 7 aren’t bad, right? I kid.) I mean it’s not that terrible though, they only get like 3 fries total now. Throw some apple slices in there and boom. Healthy.
Moving right along.
We hosted Christmas for both sides of the family at our house. Again, because it’s the last time for the foreseeable future. Sappy, I know. Still, I held it together through all of that. We had a great time celebrating Christmas and just being with each other. Even when I consider all the emotions that have yet to come, deep down I am SO ready to get to Costa Rica. I know God has big plans for us. I know it’s going to be hard. But in the words of a close friend, it’s a good kind of hard.
When I think of the kids, not gonna lie, I get worried about what we are taking them away from. From family, from friends they have known since birth, from a church family who loves them like their own, from their dance studio #firstworldproblems.
I’ve heard people comment about what an adventure this is going to be, and honestly until the last few weeks, I didn’t really see it as that. I more viewed it as all the things we were leaving behind.
But God is working in my heart.
He has changed my vision.
He has shown me this is indeed a great adventure.
For all of us.
Hold on tight kids, it’s going to be a wild ride!