As I feel caught up in a season of homesickness, I feel myself longing for things that bring me comfort.
I’m longing to be near my close knit family.
I’m longing to go to my parents for Sunday lunch with my whole side of the family and smell like tacos the rest of the day. (Sorry mom, it’s true though.)
I’m longing to be a part of our normal celebrations like the big 4th of July compound party.
I’m longing to hug my dearest friends and grab chicken nachos and late night coffee.
I’m longing to see all the babies that have been born since we left and squish their chubby little cheeks.
I’m longing to stroll through my magical little city and grab an iced snickers latte (no whip) with my favorite people.
I’m longing to head to our go to beach spot that we’ve gone to for as long as I can remember.
I’m longing to run into target and walk Every. Single. Aisle.
I’m longing to eat a number one from Chickfila, with a ridiculous amount of Polynesian sauce and mayo. I don’t even care.
I’m longing to shop at Aldi’s while eating their sweet potato chips and buy all the affordable groceries.
I’m longing to not sweat in my own house while I simply sit in a chair.
I’m longing for all the conveniences that I grew so accustomed to.
Brandon always told me I could hop on a plane anytime that I really needed to go home again. And while that is true and comforting, popping back into the previous lifestyle would bring temporary happiness, but it will not bring me ultimate joy.
Luke 9 has been thrown in my face the last couple of days and I know it’s not an accident.
When Jesus lays out the cost of following him, it’s so hard to put myself in the place of those men he talked to at the end of the chapter. I told Brandon that I would be a TERRIBLE Bible character. I just don’t think I would’ve been willing to drop everything and go. I’m not exactly a planner, but I would definitely want to at least say goodbye to my friends and family and grab that final Chickfila sandwich.
The cost of following him looks so different for each one of us. This is costing us being apart from our family and friends that we have spent nearly four decades growing up with. It has cost us the humbling task of learning a new language. It has cost us listening to our children cry themselves to sleep at night when they are desperately missing “home.” It has cost us the simple conveniences that we took for granted in the states.
But even above all the tears, homesickness and longings, we find peace knowing that these simple costs that we have had to pay are nothing compared to what Christ has done for us. And for that alone, it’s all been worth it.
I pray our hands and hearts are always open to whatever and wherever God calls us. More than anything I pray that our ultimate longing is to walk in obedience to God no matter the cost.